Bumble founder who sued former bosses at Tinder for sexual harassment gets engaged

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It was absolutely magic! Then, in true dating style, I copy her miso soup order. The former founding member of Tinder, who went off to create their biggest competitor, is a techie entrepreneur with impeccable taste.

After leaving the company, Whitney accused Tinder of sexual harassment. I love what she has to say. But Andrey believed it could be truly game-changing for dating and help a lot of people.

Meet Whitney Wolfe, the queen bee of digital dating

Most interviews have something of the date about them. Wolfe is, after all, the high priestess of dating. In 2012 she was a co-founder of Tinder, the app that revolutionised millennial relationships, before leaving two years later in a swirl of sexual harassment allegations and, in the process, becoming an accidental symbol of the sexism women face in Silicon Valley. She then moved to Texas and launched Bumble, the matchmaking app of choice for 13m people and counting. Many of them are young hipsters, attracted by its feminist credentials: the woman must make the first move. All this and Wolfe is not yet 28. Even by normal tech-entrepreneur-on-a-tight-schedule standards, noon seems a little early for lunch, and the Charlotte Street branch of Roka looks completely empty as I walk in. Then I glance up and there is Wolfe, petite, smiling, in a grey jumper and black leather trousers. As we sit, loud chanting erupts from the corner of the restaurant. The Roka team have circled for a motivational send-off before they begin service. When a waiter appears, she quizzes him on the ritual. Unsurprisingly, perhaps, Wolfe is the perfect first date: enthusiastic about everything from the tea to the wide blue skies of our technological future. When I reveal that my brother and his girlfriend met on Bumble, she gasps. There have been more than 5,000 engagements and marriages from the app so far. I came of age with the social media revolution but am a chronically late adopter — managing to sleep through the founding of Facebook mere metres from my university dorm. Until now, that is. After downloading Bumble — strictly for research purposes — I was feeling somewhat irritated by the lack of interest in my profile until a friend pointed out that all my pictures were of me in a wedding dress. Wolfe finds this hilarious. Rather endearingly, she says she does too. Our phones now allow us to identify potential life companions through location, ethnic origin or hatred of the same thing and reject them just as quickly. Such opportunities come with a healthy serving of ethical and personal dilemmas. I know of a WhatsApp group of single friends devoted to discussing the profiles, responses and bizarre situations that crop up in digital dating. What photo should you use? And what are the best ways to calibrate your profile? What is clear is that the digital dating sphere is very lucrative. Match Group, Inc — the parent company for Match. Wolfe may be firmly on-brand but she laughs wickedly at the ambitions of many tech evangelists. I want to start something big. And for me, that was not being allowed to text guys first. You must let him be the aggressor. Instant, profuse, American apologies ensue along with the suggestion that we relocate. No, no, I state and turn to the vegetarian option. Then, in true dating style, I copy her miso soup order. Warm flannels are brought to us. Mine ends up crumpled on the dish. Wolfe folds hers into symmetrical squares before placing it neatly on top. Her composed look comes with hints of glamour: diamond earrings; a Cartier bracelet jangling on her wrist next to an old elastic hair band. For those wondering, she met her fiancé in real life. Wolfe grew up in the conservative surroundings of Salt Lake City, Utah — a traditional background of school, sport and TV. Did she feel engulfed by technology back then? No, but there was endless instant messaging with her friends — allowing for plenty of exposure to early digital mindgames. We escape into our phones. One of its most famous projects was Tinder. Wolfe ended up working as the vice-president of marketing. She also began to date Justin Mateen, a fellow co-founder. Tinder boomed it now has an estimated 50m users but both the relationship and the job fell apart in spectacular fashion. Wolfe filed a lawsuit against Tinder in 2014 alleging sexual harassment, discrimination and emotional distress. The company settled the case for an undisclosed sum, without admission of liability. Silicon Valley has long been haunted by reports of behaviour ranging from the frat-boy-esque to the downright sleazy, and the media seized on this saga of real-life dysfunction among the gilded digital youth, while internet snipers took aim at Wolfe. She takes a deep breath when our conversation turns to Tinder, sits even more upright and changes the subject. It hurt my feelings really badly. It shook me up. Was it a case of once bitten, twice shy? Wolfe insists that, initially, it was the last thing she wanted to do. The site now has users in more than 20 countries. The issue of sexism in Silicon Valley smoulders on; it recently erupted again when Susan Fowler, an engineer, published a damning blog post exposing alleged sexism by her manager when she worked at Uber. What has Wolfe learnt three years on from the events that led to her departure? When I ask about any mentors there, she looks blank. What about the realities of selling a product while maintaining a mission? Some approved start-up-founder soundbites sneak in as she talks about balancing capitalism and conscience. My side of the table looks like an organic farm: aubergine, broccoli, asparagus. Food envy sets in as Wolfe embarks on her sweet potato tempura and, in vain, tries to tempt me with some salmon. So, what about feminism? The word itself has become something of a litmus test over the past two years. Wolfe says it took her a while to understand what feminism really meant. Soon the next round of meetings will start. Do start-up founders ever turn off? Still, compared to the number of people who have entered the restaurant with their eyes glued to screens, she has impeccable techiquette. What has all this time with the data taught her about humans? One transatlantic dater tells me that, in the US, Bumble is strongly associated with empowered women. In the UK, some moan that it just caters to lazy men. Wolfe laughs and counters that they may be looking for someone independent. Nationalities do matter, though. Our mini girl gang is about to disband. And so to the post-date tussle of who should pay. Wolfe is adamant but I am more so. Forget about women making the first move, this is an FT ruling. So, can you really hack love? At the end of the day, social forces retain their same old power. Still, without an algorithm, such connections might never be remade. The author is Alice Fishburn, the editor of FT Weekend Magazine. The illustration is by James Ferguson. Sign up for a FT.

Wolfe grew up in the conservative surroundings of Salt Lake City, Utah — a traditional background of school, sport and TV. Emma Johnson is a veteran money journalist, glad blogger, bestselling author and an host of the award-winning podcast, Like a Mother with Emma Johnson. Whitney is a Humanitarian After Whitney found success with the Help Us Project, she wanted to continue helping people. If you want to know more about Whitney, what she does and what she did, gusto on. If you can dream it, you can do it. Her dating app is 20-million-users strong and well known for its feminist approach to the online courting process—when two heterosexual users are matched, a connection can only be whitney wolfe bumble engagement ring if the woman makes the first move.